You see, like Warren, I too am more than just a white person who appears to be doing alright. I am, in fact, a mix of white and red, thanks to the Native American heritage of my Great-Great-Grandmother.
That's right, I am 1/16 American Indian. If you wish, you may call me by my ancient spiritual name, Runs-His-Mouth.
I wasn't native enough to get government wampum like free tuition at a state college in Maine or a monthly check in the mail, but Warren is a mere 1/32 Native American and look what she went through, as told by Mark Steyn:
How does she know she's a Cherokee maiden? Well, she cites her grandfather's "high cheekbones," and says the Indian stuff is part of her family "lore." Which was evidently good enough for Harvard Lore School when they were looking to rack up a few affirmative-action credits. The former Obama Special Advisor to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and former Chairperson of the Congressional Oversight Panel now says that "I listed myself in the directory in the hopes that it might mean that I would be invited to a luncheon, a group, something that might happen with people who are like I am," and certainly not for personal career advancement or anything like that. Like everyone else, she was shocked, shocked to discover that, as The Boston Herald reported, "Harvard Law School officials listed Warren as Native American in the '90s, when the school was under fierce fire for their faculty's lack of diversity." So did the University of Texas, and the University of Pennsylvania.I am twice the American Indian Warren is, and therefore, twice the victim. From now on, I can proudly use the important lesson I've learned from the last three years of American politics:
If you disagree with me, you're a racist.
You may think you're disagreeing with my support of free markets and limited government control, but in my heart and with no further proof offered, I can now confidently say you are motivated by a deep hatred for 1/16th of the way I was born.
Every negative reply I receive is a smallpox-infested blanket. Every insult is a broken treaty. From now on, know that your disagreements with any opinion I hold are blazing a new trail of tears.